Originally published in The Seattle Times, April 7, 2023

My family is dealing with childhood mental illness, and it has been four years of fear, anxiety and dread. My daughter Jaime (not her real name) is diagnosed with early onset schizophrenia; and, at 15, nothing in her life resembles adolescence. There are no trips to the mall, no late nights online with friends or going to school. We are frozen; her mental illness holds us back from friends, family and community.

I left a rewarding technology career to become a stay-at-home mom. The monetary impact of a mentally ill child is hard with a two-parent family, but as a single parent, I’ve nearly lost it all. It’s difficult to find work schedules with flexibility to parent a child who doesn’t always attend school or can’t leave the house at all. We’ve survived with savings, unemployment and gifts. I have amassed $60,000 worth of debt associated with the cost of living, medicine (antipsychotics aren’t cheap), psychotherapy and hospitalization. Given the burden, I’ve considered bankruptcy to stem the tide.

We are in the gap, as I like to call it. Middle-class to upper middle-class salary and benefits, but when life crumbles, there’s little help to be found. I’ve made too much money for community support programs, or Jaime didn’t have the right diagnosis, and the biggest shock, she doesn’t qualify for Supplemental Security Income because her father pays too much child support. I asked a social worker, who denied Jaime disability benefits, if I needed to lose everything to get help. Her answer: “Yes.”

Many families are frustrated with the state of mental health care in our country, and our story is not unique. Living with the fear of your child getting shot or arrested by an uneducated police force or put into involuntary psychiatric holds is real. You try to explain away the late-night police activity, the hair-raising screams from windows and the questions about why your child wears a parka in steaming July. I would like a place to take Jaime when the situation is dire. The urgent care clinics proposed in the Crisis Care Centers levy will help at-risk youth by filling the gap in services, which is the start of change.

Mental health reform is needed at the local and state level to remove barriers to care. The 2022 White House Council of Economic Advisers issue brief “Reducing the Economic Burden of Unmet Mental Health Needs” states the following: “Because one-half of all lifetime cases of mental disorders are estimated to start before age 14, school-based mental health programming is one promising strategy for increasing early detection of mental disorders while also improving access to treatment.” School programs can create positive outcomes for at-risk children and provide them with the tools they require for lifelong success. Governors in Arizona, Ohio and Wisconsin made mental health a priority in their 2023 State of the State message. Wisconsin Gov. Tony Evers went so far as to declare 2023 the Year of Mental Health. This is a great start, and more states should follow the call. Voting ensures elected officials keep childhood mental illness a top priority.

I am a mental health advocate and no longer silent. I am a board member of the Regional Crisis Response Agency, which supports non-police intervention for crisis calls, working with the state Legislature on technology requirements for the 988-suicide prevention hotline and connection to care.

This experience has changed me as a parent; I am finding support in unexpected places. The joy I feel past my lowest ebb is remarkable. I would never change anything about our journey, as I see Jaime as a gift beyond measure and a persistent hope for the world.